Archived Funny Quotes
about Relationships

These funny quotes all have a relationship theme, humorous but never sarcastic. Enjoy a bit of relationship humor, as these famous folks describe humorous truths we all have seen.
Ambrose Bierce 
Ambrose Bierce

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
George Burns 
George Burns

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
Lily Tomlin 
Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Bill Cosby 
Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Erma Bombeck 
Erma Bombeck

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Robin Williams 
Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.