Archived Funny Quotes by Women

This set of funny quotes is authored by famous women such as Zsa Zsa Gabor, Sharon Stone and Whoopi Goldberg.
Zsa Zsa Gabor 
Zsa Zsa Gabor (married 9X)

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."
Tallulah Bankhead 
Tallulah Bankhead

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
Erma Bombeck 
Erma Bombeck

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Joan Rivers 
Joan Rivers

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.
Sharon Stone 
Sharon Stone

I drive with my knees. Otherwise, how can I put on my lipstick and talk on my phone?
Whoopi Goldberg 
Whoopi Goldberg

I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation.