Archived Funny Quotes by Men

This set of funny quotes is authored by famous men such as Liberace, Bill Cosby and Woody Allen. (Note: archived women's quotes are on another page, linked below.)
Woody Allen 
Woody Allen

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Winston Churchill 
Winston Churchill

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Oscar Wilde 
Oscar Wilde

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
Liberace 
Liberace

When the reviews are bad I tell my staff that they can join me as I cry all the way to the bank.
Bill Cosby 
Bill Cosby

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
Ambrose Bierce 
Ambrose Bierce

Definition of Peace (n): In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.