DAILY QUICK QUIP:WISDOM OF HOMER SIMPSON: "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
Thought of the Day: Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Today's Offbeat News
TODAY'S WOMAN'S QUIP: THINGS WOMEN WOULD NEVER SAY: 1. What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women. 2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. . . . . men will screw anything.